Today was a really interesting day for me. I felt that I was in such a saddened place. I don’t know if it was the weather, me or both. But there was something that I have resisted doing since early December. I have been go, go, GO for the better part of 2010 and I was being guided that it was time to take a break.
“Take a break?! What is that? I can’t possibly, I will only take two weeks off the last part of December!” Well, I found myself during that time still working hard for One Ascension and every other thing that got my attention. I felt so scattered and pulled in so many directions I didn’t know if I was really in full alignment with my true path . . . and what was that path again???!!!
I have been resisting a break because my ego had me thinking that I would somehow be letting someone down . . . mainly myself. So I ignored the call to slow down and take a break. Well today, I woke up feeling disconnected and sad. I did my usual to call back my energy and clear my space. And yet . . . I still felt sad.
I had a dream last night. I was shoveling snow. I was creating a pathway for people to walk down from my house or from the sidewalk to my house. A neighbor came over to talk to me in my dream and asked me what I was doing. I replied, “I am shoveling and clearing this snow and creating a path for people. But if it snows again, they are going to have to clear it on their own.”
I thought about that today as I was doing this and that around the house. I thought about how hard I am pushing myself and how I am not really listening to taking that much needed break. I thought about what that dream meant and the tremendous pressure it is to be a visionary . . . to be a lightworker. I thought about all my sisters and brothers who burn themselves out by not taking time for themselves when called upon to do so. What does that mean to me? Are there boundaries that I have not placed that need to be put in place for my own health and awareness?
So I have decided to take all of February off. I am completely booked for January. I love my clients. I want to be there for them as much as possible. I appreciate them and learn as much from them as they do from me. However, this break isn’t about One Ascension. It’s about Melanie and the needs that Melanie has. I intend to always be 100% when I give of myself. If I am not feeling 100% I will not give 100%. And with the work that I do, it is vital that I do give my all . . . always. That is just the sort of person that I am. It’s how I roll!! Hee-hee!!!
I am so thankful for this breakdown today because with it, I was able to create a break-through!!
This resonates with what I have been going through. I don’t know if you remember, but a few weeks ago I was bashing myself over the head over a decision I had to make that was work related. You said to go with what felt "right" in my heart. I kept asking for guidance and the message was clear. Go for Joy.
ReplyDeleteBasically, I had to choose whether or not I wanted to stay in the school I was working in or move on to another school with more responsibility and more work. A job that looked better on my resume, a job to feed my ego. The message I received was there are many roads to success and the fastest way isn't necessarily the one which looks better on your resume. All roads can lead you to your destination, it’s not the action that’s important but your reaction to what life has given you. I know, some deep shit. I don’t know where it came from but it made sense. I don’t need to impress anyone and taking a more relaxed, scenic route through life isn’t a crime. It’s probably better for me. I’m not one to handle stress well and I tend to be a pain in the ass worrier so I’m happy with my decision to stay put. I believe in divine timing and right now, the change doesn’t feel right…. We’ll see what happens.
Yes! Always follow your heart and always go for JOY!! Thank you Rez for sharing this powerful experience with me. I greatly appreciate you!!
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